An accountant is in a car travelling with a farmer client around his farm.
They pass a large mob of sheep and the farmer says,
“You’re pretty good with numbers, Keith. How many sheep do you reckon are in that paddock?”
The accountant looks at the sheep for a moment and says,
“One thousand, eight hundred and thirty-two.”
The farmer is amazed.
“Exactly right”, he says. “How did you work that out so fast?”
“Easy,” says the accountant
“I counted the number of feet and divided by 4.”
How Many Sheep Do I Have
There once was a blonde who was very tired of blonde jokes and insults directed at her intelligence.
So, she cut and dyed her hair, got a make-over, got in her car, and began driving around in the country.
Suddenly, she came to a herd of sheep in the road. She stopped her car and went over to the shepherd who was tending to them.
“If I can guess the exact number of sheep here, will you let me have one?” she asked.
The shepherd, thinking this was a pretty safe bet, agreed.
“You have 171 sheep,” said the blonde in triumph.
Surprised, the shepherd told her to pick out a sheep of her choice.
She looked around for a while and finally found one that she really liked.
She picked it up and was petting it when the shepherd walked over to her and asked, “if I can guess your real hair color, will you give me my sheep back?”
The blonde thought it was only fair to let him try. “You’re a blonde! Now give me back my dog.”
Bottom line blonde took dog thinking this is sheep – punchline is clear enough, person is pretending to be smarter than they are.
Some of the alternative joke start look like:
A farmer named Sid was overseeing his stock in a remote moorland pasture in North Yorkshire When suddenly a brand new BMW advanced towards him out of a cloud of dust The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Rayban sunglasses and YSL tie, Leant out of the window and asked the farmer, “If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?” Sid looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing stock and calmly answers, “sure,why not?”
…
Some of the alternative endings look like:
“You`re a Management Consultant”, says the farmer.
“Wow! That`s correct,” says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?”
“No guessing required.” answered the farmer. “You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don`t know a thing about cows… this is a herd of sheep.”
