Oscar was on cloud nine after finally purchasing his absolute dream car: a pristine, brand-new, top-of-the-line Mercedes. Eager to show it off, he drove it straight to his favorite high-end sporting goods store, parking it right out front in a prime spot where everyone could admire it.
As he walked through the sliding doors, he was warmly greeted by Jan, a gorgeous blonde who had been his regular saleswoman for years.
“Hey Oscar! Gorgeous day,” Jan smiled happily. “What can I help you find today?”
Oscar beamed, still thinking about his ride. “Thanks, Jan! I think I just want to do a little casual perusing on my own first today before I take up your time. I’ll let you know if I need anything.”
“You got it,” Jan obliged gracefully, stepping back to let him do his thing.
Barely five minutes passed before Jan came sprinting down the aisles, waving her arms wildly and shouting at the top of her lungs, “Oscar! Oscar! Oh my goodness, turn around! I just saw some guy hotwire your brand-new Mercedes and drive right off with it!”
Oscar’s heart instantly dropped into his stomach. Panic-stricken, he grabbed her by the shoulders and gasped, “Dear God, no! Jan, did you try to stop him? Did you call the cops?!”
Jan puffed out her chest proudly, smiled, and replied:
“Oh, I did much better than that! I stood right there and wrote down his license plate number!”
A Farmer’s Daughter Gave Her Pet Pig Two Strange Names—And Her Reasoning Is a Flawless Wordplay Masterclass
A hardworking farmer wanted to surprise his young daughter for her birthday, so he came home one evening carrying a tiny, adorable, pot-bellied pet piglet. The little girl instantly fell in love with the creature and spent every waking hour playing with it.
After a few weeks, the father started noticing a rather peculiar habit. Whenever the little girl was running around playing with the pig out in the grassy yard, she would happily yell, “Come here, Stinky! Go fetch, Stinky!”
However, the very moment the pig was put away inside its muddy enclosure for the evening, her vocabulary completely changed. She would gently pat its head through the wooden bars and whisper, “Goodnight, Ballpoint.”
Thoroughly perplexed by this, the father finally decided to ask her about it during breakfast one morning.
“Tell me, honey,” the father asked, pouring some milk. “I’ve been watching you play, and I’m a bit confused. Why on earth do you have two completely different names for your pet pig?”
The daughter looked up from her cereal, smiled brightly, and replied:
“Oh, that’s easy, Daddy! ‘Stinky’ is just what I call him outside… but ‘Ballpoint’ is his pen name!”
