Three elderly men were sitting in the courtyard of their nursing home, deeply reminiscing and complaining about the frustrating physical realities of getting old.
“Man, I’d give absolutely anything to just have a good pee like the old days,” the first man sighed. “Every morning at 5:00 AM, I get up and stand over the toilet for ten minutes, and it’s nothing but a painful little drizzle.”
“That’s nothing,” the second man groaned. “I’d give anything for a proper bowel movement. Every morning at 6:00 AM, I sit on the throne and strain until I’m blue in the face, just to get a tiny bit of relief.”
The third man shook his head. “Well, honestly, I don’t have either of those problems. Every single morning at exactly 5:00 AM, I pee like a racehorse for a solid two minutes. Then, at 6:00 AM sharp, I effortlessly drop a massive, healthy log.”
The first two men stared at him in utter disbelief and jealousy. “Well, what the heck are you complaining about then?! You have the perfect body!”
The third man sighed heavily, shook his head, and replied:
“Yeah, but I don’t wake up until 7:00.”
