One day in the hospital, two little boys were lying on stretchers next to each other outside of the operating room.
The first boy leans over and asks, “What are you in for?”
“I’m here to get my tonsils out and I’m nervous,” the second boy says.
The first kid says, “You’ve got nothing to worry about! I had that done when I was four.
They put you to sleep and when you wake up they give you lots of ice cream and Jell-O
It’s a breeze!”
“Well what are you here for?” the second kid asks.
“A circumcision.” The first kid replys woefully.
The second kid says “Wow! I had that done when I was born and I couldn’t walk for a year!”
A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sun dress, walked into a bar in London.
She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, “What man here will buy a lady a drink?”
The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But down at the end of the bar, an owly-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed,
“Give the Ballerina a drink!”
The bartender poured the drink and the woman chugged it down in one. She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them, revealing the same hairy armpit, and asked, “What man here will buy a lady a drink?”
Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar and boomed, “Give the Ballerina another drink!”
The bartender approached the little drunk and said, “I say, old chap, it’s your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her the Ballerina?’”
“As far as I’m concerned,” the drunk replied, “Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to be a Ballerina!”
