Even the tiniest gestures can go unnoticed, making you wonder everything. In this story, our reader goes out of her way to prepare her husband’s favorite pie for his birthday, only to have him publicly mock her efforts. What should have been a happy occasion turned into an embarrassing one.
We got a message from our reader.
My husband loves apple pies and often compliments my cooking. For his birthday, I made one for him and wrote, “To my lovely hubby.” When he saw it, he frowned and gave me a weird look. Some of his friends giggled and exchanged looks. In front of everyone, he smirked and said, “One, I hate apple pies, and two, I’m not your hubby.”
I asked, “Who are you then?” and he said that he didn’t like the word and that I should have just written “Happy Birthday”.
He took a spoon and scraped off the word “hubby.” He didn’t even say thank you for the pie! I went to our bedroom and stayed there while they continued celebrating. I was in a terrible mood.
Does he love me at all?
Thank you for sharing your story. We’re sorry you’re going through this, and we’d like to give some suggestions that may assist.
Demand an apology.
He crossed a boundary by embarrassing you in front of others, especially since all you did was try to be thoughtful for him. Inform him explicitly that you demand a sincere apology, not just for not enjoying the pie, but also for how he handled it. You deserve respect, and an apology is the very minimum.
Look for the patterns.
Does he frequently put you down or minimize your feelings? Does he dismiss your efforts, whether they involve cooking or other gestures? If this isn’t an isolated incidence, it could indicate a deeper problem in the relationship. Take note of these habits and determine whether you want to continue working with them.
Decide how you want to move forward.
If he is open to change, that is a good indicator. However, if he refuses to accept your sentiments or apologize, this is a significant red flag. If he refuses to accept responsibility for his actions and continues to be dismissive, it demonstrates a lack of respect. Think carefully about whether you want to stay in a relationship if your emotions are ignored.
Don’t blame yourself for his behavior.
Remember, this is not your fault. You were doing something thoughtful for him, but his response was unacceptable. The fact that he didn’t like the language on the pie doesn’t justify him embarrassing you in front of others. You deserve to be recognized and respected for your efforts, not criticized.
When trust starts to fail in a relationship, even simple, everyday activities like taking a shower can become a source of strife. In this story, one of our readers is dealing with her husband’s intense jealousy, which turns something as simple as showering into a major argument.
