A man arrives in New York’s airport and hails a taxi.
He tells the driver where he wants to go, hops in and they drive away.
After a few miles, the man realizes that the driver missed a turn, so he reaches forward and taps the guy on the shoulder to get his attention.
There’s an ear splitting yelp. The taxi driver floors the gas and they hurtle forwards at nearly a hundred miles an hour. Oncoming traffic is startled to see a yellow blur pass them by.
Frantically, the passenger yells “Driver! STOP!”
The driver pulls over, and both men get out, white and shaking.
The passenger grabs the drivers shoulders and shakes him. “WHAT DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING?!?” he yells.
The driver mops sweat off his face. “I’m really sorry!” he apologizes profusely. “You see, up until yesterday, I worked as a hearse driver!”
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Thomas is 32 years old and he is still single.
One day a friend asked,
“Why aren’t you married? Can’t you find a woman who will be a good wife?”
Thomas replied,
“Actually, I’ve found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn’t like them.”
His friend thinks for a moment and says,
“I’ve got the perfect solution, just find a girl who’s just like your mother.”
A few months later they meet again and his friend says,
“Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?”
With a frown on his face, Thomas answers,
“Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much.”
The friend said, “Then what’s the problem?”
Thomas replied,
“My father doesn’t like her.”
