A blonde gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country.
She had never been on an airplane before and felt very excited and tense. As soon as she boarded the plane, a Boeing 747, she started jumping in excitement, running over seat to seat and shouting, “BOEING! BOEING! BOEING!”
As she yelled, she forgot where she was, and even the pilot in the cockpit heard the noise. Annoyed by the situation, the pilot came out and shouted, “Be silent!”
There was pin-drop silence everywhere and everybody started to look at the blonde and the angry pilot.
She stared at the pilot in silence for a moment, concentrated really hard, and all of a sudden started shouting: “OEING! OEING! OEING!”
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A mother was cleaning the house when her young son, Timmy, ran up to her, crying.
“What’s wrong, sweetie?” she asked.
“Mom, I accidentally broke a flower pot while playing soccer in the living room,” Timmy confessed.
The mother sighed, trying to stay calm. “Timmy, how many times have I told you not to play soccer in the house?”
“I know, Mom,” Timmy replied, “but it wasn’t my fault. The ball just went flying!”
The mother looked at him and said, “Well, accidents happen. But next time, you need to be more careful.”
Timmy nodded and ran off to play. A few minutes later, Timmy returned and said, “Mom, I have something to tell you, but promise you won’t get mad.”
The mother, suspicious but curious, said, “Alright, I promise.”
Timmy took a deep breath and said, “I also broke the window… but I learned a valuable lesson!”
The mother raised an eyebrow. “And what lesson is that?”
Timmy smiled sheepishly and said, “Next time, I’m playing outside.”
A teacher is trying to instruct her class on the meaning of the word “definitely”.
“Can anyone give me an example?” She asks.
Suzie raises her hand, “The grass is definitely green.”
“Sometimes the grass can be brown,” The teacher answers.
“Anyone else?”
“The sky is definitely blue,” Says Timmy.
“The sky can be gray if it’s cloudy, or black at night,” Says the teacher.
In the back of the class, little Johnny raises his hand and asks, “Do farts have lumps?”
Caught off guard the teacher says, “No, of course not!”
Johnny replies, “Then I definitely pooped my pants.”
LOL!!
