A tough-guy husband marries a stunning, laid-back woman.
On their wedding night, he lays out his rules:
“I’ll come and go as I please. I’ll stay out late, I’ll go hunting, fishing, or out with the guys. I won’t answer to anyone, and dinner should be ready unless I say I’m not coming home. Got it?”
His new wife smiles sweetly and replies, “Of course! Just one thing: every night at seven, there will be s*x. Whether you’re home or not.”
The husband, a bit puzzled but still confident, grins and says, “Well, that’s certainly a surprise! I guess I’ll be home by seven, then.”
The wife winks. “You’ll be home… or you’ll be missing out.”
Bonus Joke
Little Johnny would bring a pretzel daily from his uncle’s bakery for his new teacher instead of an apple. What happens next is truly hilarious.
The teacher would always thank Little Johnny for giving her the pretzel.
But one day she said “Johnny, the pretzels are very good, but do you think your uncle can make them without salt?”
From then on the pretzels had no salt in them.
Everyday Little Johnny would bring pretzels that were salt-free.
After a few days the teacher felt she was making it hard for Johnny’s uncle to make pretzels without salt especially for her so she said to Johnny “Little Johnny, I hope it’s not too much work for your uncle to make pretzels without salt for me?”
Little Johnny says “Oh no. He doesn’t make them without salt. I lick the salt off.”
