On my blog, I often check an image that shows the theme of the reverse evolution of women in marriage. These words, attributed to the villain Cruella, sound like an alert: marriage has damaged more women than famine and natural disasters. Obviously, the authors depicts this image to highlight the character’s cruelty, but in reality, these words have become a guideline for many who deal with or fear suffering in unhappy marriages.
I have two opinions about such statements. On the one hand, many women suffer from similar problems in marriage. On the other hand, I don’t think it’s right to reallocate responsibility to extract concepts or phenomena. In my opinion, what ruins a woman is not the fact of marriage itself, but certain aspects of it that can be applied against her.
1. Criticism
While healthy feedback is crucial in any relationship, constant criticism is not.
When a woman is repeatedly blamed — for how she dresses, cooks, speaks, or even how she parents — it affects her confidence. It’s especially painful when the criticism comes from someone she predicts unconditional support from.
Over time, what may have began as occasional remarks can feel like an ongoing atta.ck on her identity. She may start to question her worth, silence her voice, and withdraw emotionally — not because she doesn’t care, but because she no longer feels safe expressing herself.
What to do instead: Constructive communication should originate from a place of love, not judgment. Focus on “I” statements (“I feel hurt when…”), and highlight positive qualities just as often as you point out concerns.
2. Comparison
Nothing stings more than being compared — to other women, other marriages, or even to a past version of herself. Whether it’s a throwaway comment like, “My friend’s wife always maintains the house spotless,” or a deeper emotional wound from feeling she’s not “good enough,” comparison makes her feel insufficient.
It recommends that she is not being fully accepted for who she is. And when comparison becomes a pattern, it creates resentment, insecurity, and emotional distance.
What to do instead: Every woman is unique. Encourage her strengths. If you admire something in someone else, don’t use it to decrease your partner — apply it as inspiration for mutual growth.
3. Control
At the heart of every thriving relationship is freedom — freedom to be yourself, to grow, to make decisions, and to have a voice. But when control takes charge — whether through influence, possessiveness, or emotional coercion — it builds a toxic environment.
A controlled woman may stop doing the things she loves, remove touch with friends and family, or even forget who she was before the relationship. This can create deep psychological harm and a loss of autonomy.
What to do instead: Trust is the crucial foundation of love. Healthy couples encourage each other’s independence and support each other’s personal evolution. A woman in a loving marriage should feel safe, not caged.
Final Thoughts
These three “C’s” — criticism, comparison, and control — may start subtly but can cause lasting damage to a woman’s heart, confidence, and spirit. A healthy marriage nurtures, uplifts, and protects. If these patterns are present, it’s never too late to begin healing through honest conversation, empathy, and mutual effort.
