Do you suspect your husband is cheating? He probably is! Trust your gut on this one – you are not crazy or paranoid. Our nervous system is equipped with ways to tell us when something is wrong, out of place, or just doesn’t feel right.
So how to find out if your husband is cheating, and are there any signs that you should look for? The answer is yes! Most affairs do not stay a secret and become evident over time. You can expose the affair yourself if you look into the following signs of a cheating husband.
5 Behaviors That Reveal a Cheating Husband
1. A Cheating Husband Takes More Care of His Appearance Than He Usually Would
It’s not bad for men to care for their appearance and put effort into their appearance. On the contrary, it shows that they care enough about themselves to invest time in pampering themselves or wearing nice clothes. You probably know by now how much effort your husband puts into his looks.
Maybe you’re married to the kind of chill, laid-back guy who wouldn’t trade their t-shirts even if you paid them. Some guys wouldn’t be caught dead in a fancy shirt. On the opposite end of the spectrum are the guys who never seem to get out of a suit, not even when chilling at the bar. So, if your husband suddenly starts changing their routine, that should raise some suspicions.
People always care how they look when they are courting someone. That’s a sign they are trying to make a good impression and hoping to get in someone’s good graces. That’s probably what they did when they first started courting you. And sure, there are reasons why people would want to look put together that have nothing to do with cheating.
They will want to look their best if they have a job interview or need to present a critical work project. Though, when your husband says he’s going to the bar to catch a game with the boys, but he’s wearing his best shirt and most expensive cologne, something doesn’t add up. If such things happen often, you should start wondering whether you have a cheating husband.
2. A Cheating Husband Avoids You
This won’t be the case for all cheating husbands, as some men are good at lying and pretending. But most people have a hard time facing the person they are lying to so blatantly. If your husband avoids you, he’s most likely hiding something from you. Sure, he might be hiding something else, such as the fact that he broke your favorite cup.
But it’s more likely that he is doing something much more behind your back and feels like he’ll spill his secrets if he spends too much time with you. Plus, he might be trying to find a way to break things off so that he can be with his mistress. The more he avoids you, the more likely you’ll be to grow unhappy in that relationship, which might make you more likely to accept a divorce. And that might be exactly what he’s hoping for.
There are many outcomes that a cheater might be hoping to happen. Some will give you just as much attention because they don’t see a problem in having fun with another woman. But most will be scared to look into your eyes, knowing what they did. Or, there’s a possibility that they are avoiding you because they are getting what they need from their mistress.
In that case, they might feel there’s no need to waste their energy on you and try to connect with you. He might stay with you out of comfort, but he’ll likely get home and sleep without talking to you. If this is how your relationship dynamics are, that means you are probably dealing with a cheater.
3. Secretive Phone or Computer Use
With dating and social media apps now a large part of our lives, many husbands are likely to find their affair partners online.
If your husband used to leave his unlocked phone lying around unattended but now guards it closely, it could be a sign of a guilty conscience. If you used to have your devices synced but he has changed his passwords or deleted his history, that could indicate trouble.
4. A Cheating Husband Avoids Intimacy
One of the reasons why men start cheating is because they feel like they don’t get enough action from their wives. This is a stupid reason, and you should never accept it as an excuse. But this is what sometimes goes on in their head. This should mean that they would jump at the chance to be intimate with you if that’s something they felt they were lacking.
You should be surprised to hear that it’s the other way around. If you have a cheating husband, he’ll probably avoid intimacy as much as possible. And it’s not just sex he’ll be avoiding. He will also prevent kissing, hugging, or being close to you in any way.
But men also cheat for other reasons, not just because they lack intimacy. But they will still act the same after making that mistake. Their guilt will make it too difficult for them to be close to you. And the vulnerability associated with intimacy will only enhance how strongly they feel that guilt. If you and your husband used to be all over each other, but now he can’t even look at you, that’s a sign.
There’s almost no other reason why he would avoid you and refuse to be intimate with you. Not even if something else happened in his life. He might struggle to tell you if he lost his job or got some bad news, but he wouldn’t turn you down and refuse to hold your hand or kiss you. So, if that happens, it’s a sign that infidelity has probably affected your relationship.
5. A Cheating Husband Refuses to Talk to You
There are cases in which someone believes their partner is cheating, and they confront them. And, if the partner didn’t cheat on them, they will jump at the opportunity to prove their innocence. They will thoroughly explain any weird behavior and even allow the other person to look through their messages or call log if that will make them feel better.
At least they will be open to talking and not become defensive. Sure, the assumption might hurt them, but you’ll be able to talk things through with a partner who didn’t cheat. But, if you have a cheating husband, he’ll refuse to talk to you about any concerns you might have. He’ll stick to some story about working late or needing to leave town on business trips, and that’s it. And you won’t even be able to get any evidence from them.
Sure, forcing your partner to show you their messages is not okay. Everyone needs to have privacy, and that includes being able to have private conversations with other people. But, if you ask to see their phone and they refuse, that’s probably because they are hiding something. His priority should be to comfort you, even if that means allowing you to read a few texts.
So it’s normal to be suspicious if he refuses. But, even more of a giveaway is when he gets defensive if you try to confront him. If you bring up cheating and he starts trying to gaslight or manipulate you, he’s doing something suspicious behind your back.
