3 young rats stopped at a bar in a rough neighborhood one night.
They got to talking and bragging about how tough each of them were.
One rat downs a shot of bourbon and slams the glass on the bar. He turns to the other two and says when I see a trap, I lay on my back and set it off with my tail. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth. I bench press it twenty time to work up an appetite then make off with the cheese.
The second rat orders up 2 shots of Tequila and drinks them both and slams the glasses down. He turns to the other 2 and Oh yeah! When I see rat poison, I grab as much as I can and take it home. I grind it up to a powder and put some in my coffee every morning so I can get a good buzz going for the rest of my day.
The first and second rat turn to the third one, like to say what do got?
The third rat drinks the rest of his beer and says I ain’t got time for this shit. I got to get home to h*ve s*x with the Cat…
An old lady was stopped and pulled into a parking space. A young man in his new red Mercedes immediately went around her and parked in the space she was waiting for.
So upset was the little old lady that she went up to the man and said,
“I was going to park there!”
The man was a real smart alec and he said,
“That’s what you can do when you’re young and bright.”
